And off we go!
The first thing we want to do as we draft out a plan to make the next stage our lives the most amazing yet, is to figure out where we are now.
First a warning... I love maps and journeys and I love map and journey metaphors, so brace yourself.
Lots of people feel lost because they don’t have that red “YOU ARE HERE” arrow clearly in their sites. We make plans that are too many steps beyond where we are or too many steps behind. By taking a moment to figure out exactly where we are, we’ll be better equipped to make a move.
This will demand honesty but despite what you may have heard, it need not be brutal... just courageous.
The first thing we want to do as we draft out a plan to make the next stage our lives the most amazing yet, is to figure out where we are now.
First a warning... I love maps and journeys and I love map and journey metaphors, so brace yourself.
Lots of people feel lost because they don’t have that red “YOU ARE HERE” arrow clearly in their sites. We make plans that are too many steps beyond where we are or too many steps behind. By taking a moment to figure out exactly where we are, we’ll be better equipped to make a move.
This will demand honesty but despite what you may have heard, it need not be brutal... just courageous.
As you look at where you are, notice the judgements that come up, good or bad. Don’t judge the judgements. Just notice them. If you start saying to berate yourself for not being better off financially or if you start patting yourself thunderously on your shoulder because of your gigantic biceps (which prevent you from quite being able to reach your back) just know that both forms of self talk can be limiting.
For some feeling bad can be a motivator, sometimes feeling good can make a person complacent. It’s your job to notice what you’re doing, what effect it’s having and then to use what works.
You get to decide what “working” means for you.
To find our current whereabouts we’re going to use a program I developed a few years ago. I’m not editing it overly from the original form as I still dig it. Have fun with it. I did!
We’ll be looking at the 7 areas of life that I’ve identified. I’ve called them pillars, I’ve called them training areas, you can call them whatever you want. The important thing here is that you look at yourself as a whole being.
If we let one area sag it will drag the others down. The same is true for improving one area, it’ll improve others. I just haven’t found that to be a lasting thing unless I use that energy to shore up the areas that aren’t working well. When life is working across the board, even if it’s just to the level where no one area is hurting you, it’s a great feeling!
My goal is to get the most out of the experience of being a human being, to get the most out being me. It lights me up to think that my journey might inspire others along their own.
The 7 training areas are (in alphabetical order):
Finances
Health/Fitness
Mind
Play
Relationships
Self
Work
(At the bottom of this post is a collection of words that explain what I mean by these)
Now we’re looking for a simple way to identify where we are and so I’ve created a ranking scale. Some people really, really have a problem with being ranked or graded and resist this part. It seems to me that this resistance is due to the fact that they’re already grading themselves as not good enough in their heads... we usually call this judging. This is where the courage comes in. Just tell the truth and let it be okay. You’re fine where you are and I’m not telling you that you need to change a thing.
Most people do want to change something however and this kind of honesty is key. So, in each area You’re going to calibrate the scale by figuring out what you think 10/10 is. I like to calibrate this on a global level but it’s really up to you.
From there it’s about figuring out where you land using the scale I’ve included.
I’ll explain this a little further. Let’s say that we’re looking at physical fitness. 10/10 for me would be a cross between Aja Barto (the tallest crossfit games competitor ever, measuring 6’5”) and Kobe Bryant who is also about my height and weight and is also about my age. I’ll toss in Rich Froning Jr. as he’s the reigning three time male Crossfit games champion and therefore holding the title of fittest on earth. These guys not only represent the best in the world at what they do but for Aja and Kobe, they represent the best at my body type. This is personal, obviously, and you need to calibrate it to YOU.
You might be a distance runner, or a power lifter, or simply a person living their life with no specific sporting back ground to compare to. What you do is find a person, group of people, or set of ideals that you think represent the best in the world.
If you ARE the current best in the world you can raise the bar and imagine where growth is possible and set that as the top mark.
Being 10/10 yourself isn’t the goal, it’s all about seeing what’s possible and having something to work to.
I’ve been asked many times about using your perceived best as 10/10 and I really think that most of us are too skewed about ourselves for this to be effective. Why set a top limit for yourself? If you’re more comfortable doing it this way, go for it but know of this possible pitfall so that you can figure out a way to avoid it.
Also, some people have been worried about feeling bad comparing themselves to someone farther along in the process than themselves. If you fall into that category, don’t use real people and be careful of that pitfall.
What you must do is imagine what you’re current view of the best is in each area.
Next, use the tongue in cheek grading system I’ve concocted to place yourself somewhere on the scale.
Daily challenge:
- For each area of life (Finances, Health/Fitness, Mind, Play, Relationships, Self, Work) Establish what 10/10 is for you in each area.
- Use the scale to determine where you are. Write a brief explanation of why you think this is your grade.
(note: This is to be a matter of fact assessment not a list of the blessings or curses you’ve encountered. Ex. I can deadlift 320lbs and run a 5k in about 30 minutes which places me at about 6-6.5 on my scale. Lots of room grow! Exciting!)
-Post what you come up with. (note: you can do so anonymously if you don’t want the world to know too much about you.)
That's it!
(Bonus! A series of words that kinda explain what the training areas mean to me:
FINANCES
money, cash, dollar dollar bills yʼall, investments, donations, earnings, savings, spend, invest, manage debt, plan, “money doesn't solve your problems but with money you can show up in a limo to deal with them.” -Tony Robbins -, managing for your future, managing for your present, having the means to live your life on your terms, paying your bills, makes the world go ʻround, assets, liabilities, your ticket to ride, trading, stocks, bonds, mutual funds, RRSPs, your portfolio, toys and flashy things, purchasing power, your ability to help with your checkbook, food on the table and a roof over your head, fiscal matters, capital, funds, resources, “A big part of financial freedom is having your heart and mind free from worry about the what-ifs of life.” - Suze Orman -, sponsorship, scholarships, bankroll, angel investments, underwrite, backing, the willingness to be wealthy, to prosper, to thrive financially, markets, bulls and bears and the bellies of pigs, commodities, value, lean times and times of plenty, the line between needs and wants, your ability to handle your needs and afford your wants, your bank account, your overseas bank account, the money under your mattress, your piggy bank, trust fund your milk money, your fortune, your parachute... whatever colour it might be.
HEALTH/ FITNESS
force x distance/time, sweating (whether to oldies or something else), building work capacity, moving your body, maintaining your body, what you eat and ingest, freedom from illness and disease, the ability to function, cardiorespiratory endurance, jumping power, sport, leisure, looking good, feeling good, pretty much anything to do with your body, hair growth, muscle retention, skeletal alignment, bone density, gum health, your feet, rest and recovery, power, pull ups, flexibility, yoga, coordination, throwing, catching, hitting, striking, agility, balance, pushups on rings, walking lunges, handstand pushups, challenging yourself to lift more, run faster, jump higher, taking care of your body so it can take care of you, trying new things,, rest, pushing to the limit and then recovering, “Our health always seems much more valuable after we lose it.” -anonymous-, 3 2 1 go, sex, rings, sandbag, medicine balls, bumper plates, other heavy things, running on trails in the woods, running through the city, doing pull ups on scaffolding, skating, playing new sports, playing old sports, stretching, doing crossfit, doing yoga, martial arts, swimming, getting yourself checked out, medicine, alternative medicine, good food that nourishes the body is my favourite medicine.
MIND
your brain, your capacity for thought, your capacity to reason, interpret, understand, derive, intellect, learning, education, state of mind, “A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.”- Mahatma Gandhi -, clarity, consciousness, awareness, being observant, calm, healthy, aware, learning, be educated, discover, explore, consult, relax, inform, read, ideas, plan, refresh, new concepts, knowledge, clarity, outside the box, judgement, outcomes, develop, redevelop, search, find, connect, meditate, integrate, immerse, open, experience, something new, calculate, research, examine, frame of mind, enhance, productive, organized, peace of mind, fearlessness, your brain, wits, sense of humour, memory, judgement, concentration, grey matter, intellectual capabilities, the mind
is a muscle that can grow and thrive when used properly, it can become stronger, more agile, more flexible, “In a world in which the total of human knowledge is doubling about every ten years, our security can rest only on our ability to learn” - Nathaniel Branden - , learning something new, being a lifelong learner, learning languages, musical instruments, new skills, mastering old skills, doing more than one thing at a time, perspective, blowing your mind.
PLAY
laughter, sport, fun, romp, cavort, enjoy, frolic, unwind, de-stress, cards, theatre, loaf off, glee, bliss, love, music, incubation of ideas, access to the subconscious, sabbaticals, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” Plato, joy, enjoyment, passion, folly, fearlessness, innocence, entertain, like, pleasure, “We donʼt stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw, be silly, watch movies, watch t.v., be a kid, be a grown up, socialize, read a book, read a newspaper, read a comic book, read nothing, do nothing, play with your dog, play with your cat, play with somebody elseʼs dog, play with somebody elseʼs cat, have a beer, have another, join a club, go shopping, get your hair done, treat yourself, treat somebody else, eat out, eat in, make someone laugh, party, have sex, go on vacation, travel, flirt, dance, sing, fall in love, spend time with friends, make new friends, learn something new, take a class, join in, laugh and then laugh some more, do something crazy, let loose, forget your inhibitions, play tennis, go sailing, scuba dive, have a picnic, play with your kid, play with someone elseʼs kid, fly a kite, go for a hike, play frisbee, chill out, smile and relax life is good.
RELATIONSHIPS
friendships, romance, family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, teammates, classmates, roommates, drinking buddies, the people you pass on the street, the people in your neighbourhood, the guy who works at the corner store, your employees, your employers, pen pals, lovers, on-line dating, real life dating, that girl at the gym, that guy at the gym, your trainer, your coach, your guru, your husband, your wife, your ex, “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” ~Swedish Proverb~, your boyfriendʼs new boyfriend, your boyfriendʼs other girlfriend, your girlfriendʼs other boyfriend, your best friend, your new friend, your college friends, your teacher from grade 3, the teacher you had a crush on, the teacher who had a crush on you, your crush, your stalker, that guy you just canʼt stand, “Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough-, your parents, your siblings, your grandparents, your aunts, your cousins, your uncles, your doctor, your therapist, your tailor, your butcher, your grocer, your local farmer, your mentor, Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” ~Marcel Proust-, people who inspire you, that person you dream about being.
SELF
your self esteem, your self perception, how you view YOU in relation to the world, you inner space, your outer space, how you dress, how you talk, how you walk, your habits, your habits of thought, your habits of action, “Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.” - Nathaniel Branden-, your apartment, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your car, anything that you might see as connected to you and what you deserve, your wealth, your drive, your motivation, that little voice in your head, your doubts, your insecurities, your failures and triumphs, your ability to bounce back from adversity, what you think you deserve, your story, what makes you YOU, your memories and what you think they mean about you, your choices, your decisions, your vision for yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your fears, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha-, your floor and your ceiling, all of the good and bad that you see about yourself, if you donʼt think you're good enough... you're right, if you do think youʼre good enough... you just might be, It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. ~Anonymous-, self-acceptance, worthiness, the drive to improve while being okay with where you are.
WORK
your job, employment, career, money, skill, performance, the thing you do with your time, what youʼre giving to the world, your legacy, “Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better. - Martin Luther King, Jr - your effort and your input, your output, a challenge, stimulating, a project that lights you up, a cause that gets you up in the morning, that thing that you wish you were doing with your life, Nothing will work unless you do. -Maya Angelou-, Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius -, good work, the satisfaction you get from a job well done, your passion, what youʼd be doing even if nobody paid you to do it, Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal. - Vince Lombardi - reaching goals, breaking a sweat and loving it, "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."-Thomas A. Edison- that thing that keeps you up at night plotting and scheming, your white whale, your reason to get up in the morning, your vocation, your calling, your trade, your business.